Last year I wrote an article called 10 Tips for Nanowrimo from a 12 Time Veteran. I’d won ten years in a row.
I’m also a Nanowrimo failure, and that’s what we are going to talk about today.
After so many wins, I’d gotten kind of cocky. I admit, I looked down a bit on people for not finishing. I really believed that if most people wanted it enough, if they’d worked hard enough, they could do it. You just had to make it a priority. Clearly, those people hadn’t.
I was very wrong.
I’m actually ashamed of the way I felt. Of all people, I should have understood why sometimes people just can’t. My own mental health has gotten in the way of my doing things I desperately want to more times than I can count.
The last two Novembers I have not completed Nanowrimo. In 2016, my mom had knee replacement surgery during the last week of the month. I’d kept up until then and had about 40k words written, but I chose to prioritize taking care of my mom instead of writing. I could have finished, but the stress could have sent me into an anxiety relapse that could have hurt how well I took care of her.
In 2017, I started out with a struggle. My sister and a couple other people were coming for the weekend and I was super stressed trying to get the house ready to be seen. I got some writing done, but finally accepted that I’d have to get caught up after the weekend.
That Saturday night, my cat Nutmeg died very unexpectedly after a short illness. I was devastated (More about this will be covered in a future blog entry). By the time Monday came around I announced on twitter that I was quitting. There was no doubt in my mind that I could not even try to finish out the challenge.
That was when I decided it was okay to fail. I put Nanowrimo first for so many years. I didn’t realize what a privilege that was. I’m not going to take that privilege for granted anymore. I’m proud to call myself a Nanowrimo failure, because there’s nothing wrong with that.
I still intend to start out every November fully intending to reach 50,000 words. But from now on, I’m going to remember that it’s okay to fail. Every word I write during Nano is a word that wouldn’t have been written otherwise, which makes everyone a winner.
Sometimes Nano can’t come first, or life gets in the way. Or maybe it just doesn’t feel right. So be a Nanowrimo Failure. Whether you win or lose, you still tried and that’s the most important thing, not how many words you wrote (or didn’t write).
Have you ever been a Nanowrimo failure? Winner? Tell me about your Nanowrimo experience(s). What has Nanowrimo taught you?